Thai terror ride: Terrible minibus journey to Phuket

Thursday January 10

Well, we made it at least.

We've read a lot about the dangers of Thailand's roads and the lives needlessly lost - so every time we book a journey it is with some trepidation.

And our trip to Phuket was the most terrifying coach journey of my life.

After spending two nights in the dull seaside town of Krabi we booked a £7 coach journey to the nearby island which is connected to the Thai mainland by a bridge.

Cramped: The terrible 16-seater minibus which should have had about 10 people in it

When travelling it is essential to do your research online - to check that the company you are booking with are not a bunch of cowboys who use vehicles that should have been consigned to the scrapheap years ago.

But I could not find a single mention online of Hadyai World Tour Ltd (also spelt Hatyai) - so we wrongly assumed it would be okay to use them. Their door-to-door service sounded excellent in the travel agents.

When our 10.50am pick up finally arrived at about 11.15am our bags were tossed into the back of a van and we were driven at breakneck speed to a 'depot' in the middle of nowhere and dumped - with around 50 other travellers who were already waiting. It was hardly a good start.

Chaos: We were dropped off at this depot a shot way outside Krabi and made to wait for another vehicle

Eventually another minibus pulled up - and 15 passengers were crammed into the tiniest minibus which properly should have sat about 10 people.

Kelly-Ann was rammed into the back right corner with the hot wheel beneath her and I was jammed in next to her. With no room for the bags they were strapped to the roof with a flimsy bit of string. At least it wasn't raining.

Finally, an hour and a half after our 10.50ampick-up should have happened we were away and actually heading to Phuket. So the Thai driver instantly stopped just a mile down the road so he could pick up a drink. Non-alcoholic I think, although I wouldn't be surprised if it was a gin and tonic.

And we're away... oh no: When we finally got away the driver immediately pulled into a petrol station to buy a drink (hopefully not alcoholic)

When we finally got away the exhausted roar of the engine sounded like a dying vehicle that has clocked up 200,000 miles - after it had been recovered from the scrapyard. There was simply no way this vehicle would pass an MoT on Britain.

I'd have been far happier if I was driving, and I've never been behind the wheel of a minibus and going out on Thailand's roads terrifies me.

Despite the  delapidated state of the vehicle, we reached some truly astonishing speeds.

If the driver could just stay properly in control at all times, there could be a racer in him yet. Laying off the G&T would also help (that's a joke). Still, he insisted on taking the racing line every time he went round a blind bend - often drifting across both lanes of the dual carriageway and the hard shoulder, oblivious to other traffic.

Several other times he went across the solid yellow line that marks the inner most edge of the road. Why he did that still baffles me. 

Terror ride: The awful minibus which was a lot older than it looks in this picture

Bad driver: The clown who drove us to Phuket so dangerously

With four people shoved into the back row, to my left sat an extremely smelly young Malaysian man who proceeded to nod off repeatedly - with his head dipping towards my crotch each time until I shoved him away.

On the far left was another man who spent the whole terrifying journey on his MacBook editing topless pictures of himself on the beach. Part way through the journey he burst into song. I'm no judge of singing talent, but even I know a tone deaf performer when I hear one wailing like this.

The vehicle was supposed to have air conditioning - but of course it didn't. The heat was so oppressive that my wet back was plastered to the seat and I had to down litre after litre of water.

And this is Thailand so it goes without saying there wasn't a single seatbelt on the whole minibus - or at least one that worked. There were several times when I squeezed the bar on the seat in front tightly, utterly convinced that we were about to crash.

All the while the danger driver was sat nonchalantly holding the steering wheel with one hand - as I would when cruising in traffic in first gear - but as he took sharp bends at over 70mph.

Afterwards you can trivialise the risk and make out that it really wasn't that bad, because you made it to your destination nothing won't wrong. 

That argument doesn't wash with me - some of these bus companies, and this one in particular, run a dreadful and dangerous service.

There's a definite market for a European company to come into Thailand and offer a premium bus service that adheres to EU safety standards.

The road network is not to blame for the unnecessary deaths each year. In the main the dual carriageways are every bit as good as in Britain.

It's just the dreadful vehicles and drivers that are the problem.

Well, we made it.