Melaka: The idyllic Malaysian coastal city where nothing is open

It is 9.30am and none of the cafes have opened their doors for breakfast yet.

Welcome to Melaka, the sleepy Malaysian coastal city just south of Kuala Lumpur.

Walking through the streets early on a Wednesday morning, the whole place was deserted. We finally found one restaurant which was open - but the chef was yet to show up for his breakfast time shift.

Our view from the roof terrace of our guesthouse in Melaka

Life happens at a much slower pace here than it does anywhere else we have been.

Melaka started life as a small fishing village, but in the 15th century it grew into a huge port and became a regular stopping point for fleets of Chinese ships.

Under the control of Portuguese conquerors who seized the city in 1511, the ports continued to grow in size and international importance. After 140 years the south Malaysian port city changed hands and was controlled by the Dutch before it was finally controlled by the British.

...And the same view in a thunderstorm. It is the end of the rainy season in Malaysia so there is still the occasional tropical downpour

Under the Brits, trade in Melaka waned as rival ports, such as Singapore, grew in size.

These days a new type of conqueror has taken over the town, in the form of guesthouse owners and restaurateurs who have turned Melaka into one of Malaysia's top tourist destinations. Officially this is a city although the whole place is tiny and can easily be explored on foot.

Colonial influence: A fountain built in 1904 in honour of Queen Victoria in Dutch Square which is lined with red buildings

Colonial past: One of the forts used to protect the city from the latest ship of invaders

Although Malaysia was given full independence in 1957, the colonial influence is still felt in the old town where the Dutch Square is lined with red buildings. In the centre sits a fountain built as a tribute to Britain's Queen Victoria in 1904, four years after her death.

There are loads of tiny museums dotted all over the town. Some of them are very good, others are not. In the customs museum (I know, doesn't sound good) the exhibits included a genuine hole punch used by staff in the 1960s and a bicycle. It was free to get in - and we were quickly heading out.

The narrow streets are idyllic and many of the guesthouses offer excellent views over the river. There is not a single McDonalds, 7 Eleven supermarket or chain store in the old town.

Melaka was given UNESCO World Heritage status five years ago. What exactly this means, I have no idea. However, a quick check on Wikipedia revealed that almost 1,000 sites around the world have been given this "honour". It seems to be so common I'm thinking of applying for World Heritage Status for my bedroom.

Kelly-Ann standing by the river

Anyway, back to the point.

Although Melaka has dozens of hotels and hostels, it isn't overrun with tourists in the same way as we found in parts of Thailand.

The streets are almost deserted any time before 11am - and frankly not much busier after that. Restaurants and cafes open late, close early or shut their doors altogether seemingly at random on different days throughout the week.

One cafe which specialised in fruit juice cocktails was open - but the owner told us she didn't have the fruit to make almost all the drinks on her menu.

Customs museum exhibit: A genuine hole punch used by customs officials in the 1960s. It was free to get in, we left quickly

Yes, these WERE real frogs! Two frogs which were the victims of taxidermologists. They are among the banned items which customs officials stopped from going into Malaysia

She offered us orange juice or a beer and invited us to come back another day once she had got some fruits from the market. This hopeless helplessness would be unthinkable anywhere else in Malaysia.

Anyway, we returned the next day and had our fruit drinks!

The city from above. The old Malaka town is the other side of the river from where this picture was taken

Reclaimed land: Some of the new houses and apartments being built in the coastal city

In years to come Melaka is likely to be transformed as Malaysia makes a more determined effort to attract tourist dollars - to boost the country's international image and bolster their developing economy.

The town itself is growing in size as land is reclaimed from the sea and new houses are built on it. The local shopping centre outside the old town is being massively extended and new hotels are being built on the outskirts.

Singaporeans have bought up a lot of property in the town as holiday homes because the prices are so low.

With their influx expect more development - and maybe somewhere you can get breakfast at 9.30am.

Malaysian builders hard at work

With skyscrapers shooting up into the sky and a new train station being built, these builders should have been hard at work.

But far from being hard at it, this workman in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, was fast asleep in his digger's cab - right alongside a busy dual carriageway.

The sound of the traffic was deafening but it didn't stop him snoozing on the job.

The site, right next to the Kuala Lumpur national museum close to KL Sentral, should be undergoing a rapid redevelopment.

But it really was a case of tools down, hard hats off and pull off those wellies. When we ventured into the nearby botanical gardens we spotted three more workmen sleeping through the afternoon. Unbelievable!

EDIT: It has been suggested these builders were on a siesta so they could get out of the sunshine. This is probably the case with the workmen in the park. However, the man in the digger was fast asleep at 11am as work went on around him

Sleeping on the job: A Malaysian workman in Kuala Lumpur asleep in his digger right next to a dual carriageway

Tools down: Two workman sleep on solid concrete benches in the botanical gardens close to their building site.

Clocking off: Another workman fast asleep

Kuala Lumpur: Our first day in Malaysia in pictures

Thursday January 17

We arrived in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, last night and have today gone up the second tallest tower in the city as well as visiting the tallest - the iconic Petronas Twin Towers.

The Petronas skyscrapers were the biggest buildings in the world from 1996 until 2003 - although they are now dwarfed by buildings in Dubai, Saudi Arabia, Taiwan, China and Hong Kong.

At a whopping 452 metres tall they make London's newest tower The Shard look tiny. The new building in London is 'just' 310 metres high, with 95 floors.

We have also visited the aquarium in Kuala Lumpur.

Kelly-Ann looks out from the observation deck at the KL Menara Tower - the second tallest building in Malaysia

A view of Kuala Lumpur from the air

Kelly-Ann has a drink of water as we prepare to go up the KL Menara tower - after walking up a hill in stifling 30C heat to get to the basement

Iconic: The Petronas Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur which were once the (joint) tallest buildings in the world

The Petronas Twin Towers

I touch a horseshoe crab in the Kuala Lumpur aquarium (They are not poisonous, and yes, we were allowed to touch)

Up close: A small alligator in the aquarium

Thailand picture round-up

After spending Christmas and New Year in Thailand, we have now moved onto Malaysia.

During our time in the country we visited Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Koh Samui, Krabi and Phuket.

Here are some pictures from our month there. 

Bamboo raft down the river in Chiang Mai just after Christmas

Wat Arun Temple in Bangkok which we visited just before Christmas. Bangkok is astonishingly hot!

Hot! We climbed very steep steps up the side of the temple which is right next to the river in Bangkok

Christmas: We spent December 25 by the pool in the one nice hotel we have booked during our four month trip. Kelly-Ann reads her Kindle here

Christmas: I drink a Coca Cola. We stayed at the excellent Empress Hotel in Chiang Mai

More bamboo rafting in Chiang Mai. The man on the boat lets me have a go (presumably because he wanted a rest)

Elephant camp: I feed an elephant some sugar cane in Chiang Mai

Bath time: An elephant is washed in the river at the elephant camp near Chiang Mai

Really Big Buddha: A huge Buddha which we visited in Bangkok just before new year. It is indoors and lying down

Koh Samui: We stayed in a bungalow which was right by this excellent beach in early January

We went on a day out to the excellent Angthong National Marine Park while in Koh Samui

Kelly-Ann on the beach at the Angthong National Marine Park

Mummified monk: One of the more unusual tourist attractions in Koh Samui. This monk, who died in the 1970s, was mummified after starting a new order on the island. It was done so that he can be an example to future generations

Kelly-Ann at a huge waterfall in Koh Samui. Unfortunately we can't tell you anything else about this attraction - because the tour guide's English included only the words "photo, photo" and "we stay here one hour"

Kelly-Ann at the waterfall

Phuket: We spent six days in the large island of Phuket right at the end of our stay in Thailand. We had three days in Patong, and three days in Phuket Town. Here I drink a Coca Cola during a day trip to Karon beach

Kelly-Ann drinks a Fanta at a cafe by Karon beach

Sun loungers lined out at Karon beach in Phuket

Karon beach in Phuket

Thai terror ride: Terrible minibus journey to Phuket

Thursday January 10

Well, we made it at least.

We've read a lot about the dangers of Thailand's roads and the lives needlessly lost - so every time we book a journey it is with some trepidation.

And our trip to Phuket was the most terrifying coach journey of my life.

After spending two nights in the dull seaside town of Krabi we booked a £7 coach journey to the nearby island which is connected to the Thai mainland by a bridge.

Cramped: The terrible 16-seater minibus which should have had about 10 people in it

When travelling it is essential to do your research online - to check that the company you are booking with are not a bunch of cowboys who use vehicles that should have been consigned to the scrapheap years ago.

But I could not find a single mention online of Hadyai World Tour Ltd (also spelt Hatyai) - so we wrongly assumed it would be okay to use them. Their door-to-door service sounded excellent in the travel agents.

When our 10.50am pick up finally arrived at about 11.15am our bags were tossed into the back of a van and we were driven at breakneck speed to a 'depot' in the middle of nowhere and dumped - with around 50 other travellers who were already waiting. It was hardly a good start.

Chaos: We were dropped off at this depot a shot way outside Krabi and made to wait for another vehicle

Eventually another minibus pulled up - and 15 passengers were crammed into the tiniest minibus which properly should have sat about 10 people.

Kelly-Ann was rammed into the back right corner with the hot wheel beneath her and I was jammed in next to her. With no room for the bags they were strapped to the roof with a flimsy bit of string. At least it wasn't raining.

Finally, an hour and a half after our 10.50ampick-up should have happened we were away and actually heading to Phuket. So the Thai driver instantly stopped just a mile down the road so he could pick up a drink. Non-alcoholic I think, although I wouldn't be surprised if it was a gin and tonic.

And we're away... oh no: When we finally got away the driver immediately pulled into a petrol station to buy a drink (hopefully not alcoholic)

When we finally got away the exhausted roar of the engine sounded like a dying vehicle that has clocked up 200,000 miles - after it had been recovered from the scrapyard. There was simply no way this vehicle would pass an MoT on Britain.

I'd have been far happier if I was driving, and I've never been behind the wheel of a minibus and going out on Thailand's roads terrifies me.

Despite the  delapidated state of the vehicle, we reached some truly astonishing speeds.

If the driver could just stay properly in control at all times, there could be a racer in him yet. Laying off the G&T would also help (that's a joke). Still, he insisted on taking the racing line every time he went round a blind bend - often drifting across both lanes of the dual carriageway and the hard shoulder, oblivious to other traffic.

Several other times he went across the solid yellow line that marks the inner most edge of the road. Why he did that still baffles me. 

Terror ride: The awful minibus which was a lot older than it looks in this picture

Bad driver: The clown who drove us to Phuket so dangerously

With four people shoved into the back row, to my left sat an extremely smelly young Malaysian man who proceeded to nod off repeatedly - with his head dipping towards my crotch each time until I shoved him away.

On the far left was another man who spent the whole terrifying journey on his MacBook editing topless pictures of himself on the beach. Part way through the journey he burst into song. I'm no judge of singing talent, but even I know a tone deaf performer when I hear one wailing like this.

The vehicle was supposed to have air conditioning - but of course it didn't. The heat was so oppressive that my wet back was plastered to the seat and I had to down litre after litre of water.

And this is Thailand so it goes without saying there wasn't a single seatbelt on the whole minibus - or at least one that worked. There were several times when I squeezed the bar on the seat in front tightly, utterly convinced that we were about to crash.

All the while the danger driver was sat nonchalantly holding the steering wheel with one hand - as I would when cruising in traffic in first gear - but as he took sharp bends at over 70mph.

Afterwards you can trivialise the risk and make out that it really wasn't that bad, because you made it to your destination nothing won't wrong. 

That argument doesn't wash with me - some of these bus companies, and this one in particular, run a dreadful and dangerous service.

There's a definite market for a European company to come into Thailand and offer a premium bus service that adheres to EU safety standards.

The road network is not to blame for the unnecessary deaths each year. In the main the dual carriageways are every bit as good as in Britain.

It's just the dreadful vehicles and drivers that are the problem.

Well, we made it.

Koh Samui: A beautiful Thai island

January 3 - 8

After the hustle and bustle of Bangkok, we headed south to Koh Samui one of Thailand's largest islands. We booked into a tiny bungalow which was just yards from the beach.

The scene was idyllic - golden sands, brilliant blue sea and palm trees.

To cater for the thousands of thousands of tourists who arrive every year, the island has been massively developed. It is not the deserted paradise it was just a decade ago.

However, our accommodation on the Big Buddha beach was a bit out of the way so we got as close as you can to the 'real Samui'.

Idyllic: The Big Buddha beach which was no more than 100 yards from our small wooden bungalow in Koh Samui

Day out: The Angthong National Marine Park which we visited on a day out during our time in Koh Samui

Beautiful: Angthong National Marine Park

Kelly-Ann on the beach outside our accommodation

Sunset on the beach (and yes, it did absolutely tip it down about two minutes after we took this picture)

Kelly-Ann swimming in the sea

I bang my foot on some rocks

I wear Kelly-Ann's shades in the back of a 'taxi' because the wind was hurting my contact lenses

Waterfall: We were taken there by a man who spoke no English on a safari trip. As a result, we don't know its name. It is in Koh Samui

I climbed up the waterfall (circled). There was a footpath at the side

Close-up of where I climbed to