Monday, 31 December 2012

The elephant that does self portraits that sell for £20 a time

Friday December 28

This simple painting looks like it was the work of a child - and certainly not the sort of thing you would see on display.

But far from being a toddler's creation, the picture of is in fact an elephant's own self-portrait which we watched him complete.
The finished work
Artist: The painting elephant at Maetaman Elephant Camp, December 28. 
Led by a trainer, he trotted over to his easel - holding his pallet of paints with his trunk.

The brush dipped in the paint for him, the animal then carefully crafted the picture in front of us at the Maetaman Elephant Camp, near Chiang Mai, Thailand.

The mammal - one of dozens that have been trained to perform at the site - completes the drawings in return for rewards in the form of sugar cane and bananas handed out by adoring tourists.

The animal is made to perform several times a day in a show put on by the camp owners.

The completed pictures sell in the shop for 1,000 Thai baht - or around £20.

Other elephant performers take penalty kicks against a human goalkeeper. And the animals dance to music for the crowds.

Critics on TripAdvisor have branded the tourist attraction cruel and called for it to be shut down.

He gets to work - holding the paintbrush with his nose. A helper dips the brush in paint
Some of the animals in the park are chained up for hours on end. The training of baby elephants take years and is conducted out of the public's view. One suspects that the carrot is deployed far less often than the stick when no one is watching.

However, the animals appear healthy and will certainly be better kept than at other attractions across Thailand.

The reality is that domestic cats, dogs, horses and animals that work the land have been trained for centuries to perform useful tasks for us. In some ways this is no different.

Elephants will be distinguished from these other animals because they are highly intelligent creatures. Nevertheless, dolphins in SeaWorld, Florida, are also trained to perform on demand.

The biggest problem with training elephants to entertain is that, unlike in the US, we don't know as much about how well the animals are looked after behind the tourists' backs.

There are so many tourist attractions across northern Thailand offering cut-price elephant experiences and so little regulation, it raises the suspicion that vast numbers of these animals are badly kept.

When watching an elephant paint it was impossible to know whether to be impressed, or horrified, by what we were seeing.

VIDEO: Another elephant takes a penalty kick

A crowd of around 50 tourists watched as the elephant painted. The works sell for 20GBP - or 1,000 Thai Baht in the gift shop. Several are created each day



Easel does it: The work finished, he walks off with his paints

A bamboo raft down the river and elephant riding in Thailand

Friday December 28

In almost two months away from home we have done some excellent things.

We've seen the White House, climbed the Great Wall of China, seen Chinese acrobats perform and gone on a junk boat trip in Ha Long Bay.

But our visit to the Maetaman Elephant Camp, in northern Thailand, was arguably the best day we have had.

Dozens of tame elephants have been trained to perform for tourists.
 
Lifted up: Kelly-Ann is picked up by two elephants. You'll have to believe she was picked up because the camera started misbehaving as soon as she was in the air
Bamboo raft on the river

Neither of us have got so close to an elephant before - and they're so big it was initially terrifying. Nature tells you to run.

The highlight of the day was being carried through the sweeping open countryside back to the camp.

We also had a trip down the river on a bamboo raft, watched the elephants being bathed and saw them perform. And to top it all off we went on a ride in a cart pulled by oxen.

I've written previously about the hilarious site of older white western men with their much younger Thai brides.

But the funniest example we have seen so far was at the elephant camp. The odd couple were riding in the four-seater cart pulled by oxen.

The huge and presumably American tourist was so big he had to have the two-seat back row to himself. His Thai wife or girlfriend, who was no more than a third of the width of him, sat all on her own in front. It really was a case of 20inch waist meets 60inch one.

Although this was hilarious, the elephant ride was still the highlight. The day was so good that I have included an extended selection of pictures.

Elephant bathing time - VIDEO
Relaxing on the river

Terrifying! I did not know this elephant was about to pick me up by its trunk

Feeding time: I give an elephant some sugar cane
Bath time: The elephants are taken into the river to be washed





Saturday, 29 December 2012

Lost in translation: Funny signs spotted in Vietnam and China

Warning: You are not allowed to either wash your clothes or cook them, our hostel in Hoi An warned
Why you should always wash your hands after using the bathroom - a friendly reminder from the Chinese
Don't stand on the toilet seat - you could break the bowl and break your bottom: A reminder in a Hanoi restaurant for locals more used to squatting over holes in the floor than using a 'Western-style toilet'
Reminder: Don't stand on the toilet seat - the bowl could break and you may hurt yourself

Monday, 24 December 2012

Happy Christmas from Thailand

Tuesday December 25

Happy Christmas to everyone back home from Chiang Mai, northern Thailand.

I'm writing this blog on Christmas morning by our hotel's swimming pool while Kelly-Ann reads her Kindle.
Happy Christmas: Kelly-Ann relaxes by the pool in the Empress Hotel, Chiang Mai, on Christmas Day
Christmas swim: The water in the outdoor pool was freezing despite the warm temperatures
For both of us, this is definitely the strangest December 25 ever.

In a country where Christians are a very small minority, the day passes like any other for most.

Only the ghastly "SEASON'S GREETING" plastered on the top of the hotel and the garish Christmas lights outside tell you we mark Christ's birth today.

We have booked into a nice hotel for Christmas and are spending six days relaxing by the pool as a break from occasionally ropey hostels we have been frequenting in some of the noisier and dirtier districts.

On the sun lounger to my right lies a very large fifty-something Englishman and his much much younger and smaller Thai wife. Obviously this is a very funny sight, and the hilarity is not even slightly diminished every time I see another of these odd couples. If the man had his top on I'd post a picture of the pair. Unfortunately for us he doesn't.

Chiang Mai is a relatively small city largely used as a staging post for a variety of tourist activities.
My view as I wrote this blog post
Tour operators offer treks, days out to elephant parks, quad-biking and cooking classes just a short minibus ride away. After a few days relaxation, we are planning to dabble in some of the above.

The city has a night market and an array of restaurants who all offer stodgy English cuisine alongside a few Thai dishes.

After 12 days in Vietnam, we flew to Bangkok from Hanoi on December 18. However, we did very little in our first few days in the country because I was suffering from a tummy bug.

The sheer intensity of the heat in Bangkok is stifling - even if you venture out in the dead of the night.

Even in the day's darkest and coolest hours the temperature did not drop below 25C, and the humidity was intense. For the northern European used to rain and snow at this time of year, it quickly got too much.
Christmas dinner: Kelly-Ann eats her prawn and melon starter in the hotel restaurant. They served us a welcome dinner - it was a buffet with a series of bizarre extra courses they dropped upon us
The nearby air-conditioned MBK shopping centre filled with a treasure trove of tiny Thai souvenir stalls gave us some much-needed sanctuary from the heat.

Unlike the Communist and relatively closed shop that is Vietnam, Thailand has embraced foreign tourism with open arms.

In Bangkok I honestly think we saw more British people than Thai locals, migrating like birds for the winter.

Such is the influx of foreigners, it felt like we had accidentally got the wrong plane out of Vietnam and ended up in a Spain.
Bangkok culture amid the Britishness of it all: We visited the Wat Arun temple. We got there via a very crowded water taxi
The Khao San Road area in the west of the city is lined with bars and restaurants who sell mainly pizzas, burgers and English fry-up breakfasts. Thai cuisine is on the menu but mainly as an afterthought and infrequently ordered.

British holidaymakers down beers and cocktails in the bars until the small hours as live bands play.

With the last of the drinkers departing so late in the night the breakfast is being served, this is a truly 24-hour place.

After four days in this intense Anglo-Thai enclave it was a relief to escape to the relative peace and tranquility of Chiang Mai.

Hoi An: Coconut on the beach, a tailored suit and some very cheap beer


Wednesday 12 - Sunday 16 December

It was a picture-perfect paradise.

Sheltered from the elements by the palm trees, we looked out at the crisp white waves crashing onto the golden beach.
Picture perfect: The beach in Hoi An, Vietnam, where we sat and drank fresh coconut milk
A red flag fluttered in the sea breeze, warning us the seawater was too dangerous to swim in. A couple of hardy surfers bravely, or foolishly, ignored the warning.

Reaching for a sharp glistening kitchen knife, the middle-aged Vietnamese man with a weathered face hacked the top off the big green juicy coconut right in front of us.

Then he delicately whipped out two white straws and put them inside before placing the fruit down in front of us.
Fresh coconut: A green coconut we drank on the beach. It looks different to those on sale in Britain essentially just because it is fresh
The coconut was almost as big as a watermelon and the milk inside had a freshness you'd never get from its unrecognisable thick, brown and hairy cousin you'd find in a British supermarket.

Sitting on plastic chairs at a small table, we looked out at the beach which stretched hundreds of yards to our right and left.

After we had been sitting there a few minutes the rain came pouring down - the dark and leaden sky unleashed some of its anger on us with a sharp tropical shower.
We scrape the inside of the coconut
Although rain has killed off many British days at the beach, here the downpour was more of a relief.

After cycling four kilometres to the beach in stifling humidity (or on a cold winter day if you are Vietnamese) a shower was exactly what I needed.

We were lured to Hoi An by the promise of bargain tailor-made suits, but discovered the perfect coastal town.
We hired bicycles for the day to go to the beach in Hoi An for 20,000 Vietnamese dong - or about 60 pence each
The town lies just over 500 miles down Vietnam's vast coastline from China looking out onto the South China Sea.

Despite featuring prominently on the backpacker trail, Hoi An is so small it doesn't warrant having its own station on the country's shambolic rail network. So we got the train to the nearby city of Da Nang before getting a minibus.

As the beach is again some distance away, we had to hire the bicycles for the day for 60p each to get there.

In the centre of Hoi An, the narrow criss-crossing streets are lined with beautiful old two-storey buildings.
I dipped my toes in the sea water - but it was too choppy for swimming and a red flag was up
Such is the town's popularity with tourists that the majority of these former homes have been turned into tailors and souvenir shops.

An idyllic river snakes it's way through the town. The vast selection of bars and restaurants at the water's edge are a great place to relax during the daytime -but the whole place looks even better at night.

If the beautiful golden beach and the wonderful town centre haven't convinced you this town is a perfect holiday destination, then consider this: A glass of fresh locally brewed beer costs nine pence. That's right nine pence - or 3,000 Vietnamese Dong.

Admittedly a glass contains a mere third of a pint -so a whole pint will set you back a whopping 9,000 Dong - or 27p.
The waterfront in Hoi An. A river runs through the city and there are excellent bars and restaurants down by the water
Anyway, it's reputation for high-quality tailors is what attracted to us to Hoi An - so I wasn't going to leave without a custom-made suit.

We went to the well-reviewed Kimmy's Tailors which was highly recommended by our hostel (because of the healthy commission they undoubtedly get paid for sending us there).

A tiny Vietnamese lady who could have been no more than 4ft 6in tall scurried around me furiously with a tape measure taking every measurement imaginable for my new suit.
Wet: Despite temperatures hitting 28C most days there was a lot of rain. But because of the humidity it was often a relief
Ruins we visited at My Son, not far from Hoi An. On the site stood an amazing array of Hindu temples - until the Americans bombed it all during the Vietnam war
I ordered a grey suit with two trousers and a shirt while Kelly-Ann ordered a pair of trousers. Overnight the tailors worked away above the shop floor, rattling out our new outfits on their sewing machines.

The next day we returned for a first fitting of the new garments before they were sent away again for some resizing and reshaping.

To me it seemed fine - but they found a raft of minor alterations to make.

Although backstreet tailors will knock together whole suits for as little as £70, if you're going to spend that little there really is no point bothering. My suit came in at £250 including the cost of shipping it home - a vast fortune in Vietnam. However, the quality of the finished product was incredible and the whole thing fitted perfectly. (Usually if something fits well you write "like a glove", but I have a pair that are far too big for me).

We had come for the tailors - but loved this wonderful coastal town.

Friday, 14 December 2012

Picture round-up: A Chinese theme park, Hong Kong and Vietnam



A Chinese 'poncho': A bin bag with a hole in it I bought for 50p when we visited the theme park Chimelong Paradise in Guangzhou, southern China, on a wet day
Disappointing ride: I get on a swinging ride which barely swung at all for me...
Problem: I look disappointed. I think I may have had my foot on the brake - but with no English instructions it is impossible to know



Much better: Me on a big swinging ride waiting to go

The view of Hong Kong island from the Avenue of the Stars
In the Hong Kong botanical gardens
Hong Kong skyline: The incredible view of the city after we got off the Peak Tram
Top of Hong Kong - the Peak Tram
Vietnam: Ho Chi Minh's mausoleum in Hanoi
I read my Kindle by the lake in the centre of Hanoi
Hoi An, Vietnam: The river which runs through the small coastal town

Wet wet wet: Despite the warm weather, it has been raining a lot in Hoi An, Vietnam, while we are here